Streetwalker In Cloves

I'm not new to this. Blogging I mean. I have tried to blog several times, and each and every damn time I have failed at being fluid and an avid blogger. I hope, that this time, something different will occur. I can't promise anything. I'm really horrible at introductions, so I am not going to sound formal. I don't think it helps that I am possibly uninteresting. I figured I should havethe right to share my opinion just like anyone else though.

The worst part of this fucking blog. My introduction.
I promise.
Fuck.

My parents call me Michael, my friends call me Michael. I'm nineteen, I just finished my first year of higher education at a community college, and am awaiting my transfer into private education, where I will be majoring in Fashion Design starting the beginning of next month. If that's not a big enough indicator, I am immensely intrigued by fashion, and everything it encompasses. Other than fashion, I take pride in my taste of music, as well as my vast interest in art. I love photography, although I despise being the subject of a photograph. Therefore you will rarely ever see a picture of me. My wardrobe is almost entirely black. I suffer from Bi-Polar disorder, as well as OCD and severe anxiety disorders. In other words, I'm quite dull.



Anyway. That picture up there. That's one of the first photographs I ever took with a film camera about three years ago. But the photo isn't what I had intended to talk about. Instead I wanted to talk about the subject and the memory this brings about. The subject is a few old acquaintances from high school, and it takes place in the living room of my friend's house during a Halloween party. Regardless, once again I end up off topic. I want to discuss the past and the idea of change in life. In a mere three years, I have gone from an ignorant child and have ended up as what I hope to be a mature (in the process of becoming) adult. I have no desire to be who I used to be three years ago. I guess you could say I am somewhat proud to be who I am today. I have managed to control my imperfections, as well as try to better myself. Although, my largest dilemma is life itself. In a sum, that is the greatest of my worries. Life is unpredictable, and most definitely ruthless. Which for me causes some great problems. I have always admired the idea of control. I have always wanted the power to control. But there is one thing I have come to realize, and that is that I can focus on controlling and damn thing I please. No matter what, I will never be able to control life. So I have come to the conclusion that I am sure many have before me. Life is uncontrollable, and there for, I need to reroute my focus. No longer concerned with control. For now on I will live as I very well please. But at the end of the day, all I want is to be fucking successful. I want to be able to call my mind at the end of the day, and be able to reflect upon who I am and be thankful for what I have created. So although I cannot control life, I have every reason to create my own. And therefore that is what I will strive to do.

What a fuckery. Excuse the scattered thoughts. My brain is damn near its end, as it is time for me to lay my head.